Best Job in the World
While this is an extremely arguable topic, I believe I have narrowed in down to the following three positions in reverse order:
3. My doorman. You may say that the position does not pay very well, and I would have to agree. BUT, this man does nothing. Make no mistake about it when I say he does nothing. This evening, it’s a beautiful evening, so the front doors to my apartment building are open, so he just stands there. Any visitors have to go to the desk, four feet away, and get called up by the other guy behind the desk. So it’s an utterly stress-free position, it’s union, and you get to talk to more gorgeous 20-something females in a week than any 20-something guy will talk to in a month.
2. A baseball first base coach. It’s a pretty well paying position playing a game all the time, as a job. Again, it’s a stress free position because you really aren’t relied on to do anything during a baseball game. The guy yells ‘get back’ to a player on first if the runner on first is trying to get picked off. This is completely meaningless though, because if a player actually relied on that, he would be thrown out every time. He also tells a runner whether or not he should extend a single into a double. Again, completely meaningless, because only a player knows his own speed and whether or not he can stretch it to a double. Plus, unlike a player going to third, he can see the entire play in front of him. I would take this job in a heartbeat, and I would just take my current salary. I’ll even do it for free some games just so I can b.s. with such first basemen as Sean Casey, Doug Mientciewicz, Derrek Lee and Albert Pujols.
3. NFL Punter. Granted, its not as low stress as the above positions, but it’s up there. You are not relied upon do anything but not make a mistake, and all you need to do is kick a ball off the side of your foot. I know I’m making it sound a lot easier than it is, and it does actually take some skill, but it’s still an incredible job. You can become a millionaire doing this job, unlike the one’s above. You also get some relative fame with this job. I can name 30 punters. I can’t name 30 doormen or first base coaches. All in all, this to me is the ideal job (if you’re not an accountant)
3 years ago